judah bear //03

I have a son.  
I am proud of him.
I love him.
He will change this world.

I will remind him of these things every day of his life.

 @chriselda

@chriselda

Since Judah was born on March 22, 2015, I've been asked more times than I can count: "How does fatherhood feel?"

I'll tell you how it feels: It feels like a right of passage, like I was born for it, like I just got handed a live grenade coated in grease, like I'm in over my head.

I love it.

I'm looking at my son, right now, lying in some contraption that "helps him sleep" by throwing stars up on the ceiling and mimicking the sound of ocean waves, and I wonder how in the world we ever made it out of infancy. The dude is totally helpless and cries when his pacifier (that reads "I Love Mommy" on the handle) falls out of his mouth and rests on his chest. He can do nothing for himself except defecate on his new sailboat onesie. After all this, I can still say what I said before.

He's my son.  
I am proud of him. 
I love him. 
He will change this world.

I can say these things because I see the raw, unbelievably immense potential in him. He has parents and family and friends-as-good-as-family that will love him and pour every ounce of goodness they have into him. He has a Savior that has and will again go to the ends of the earth to see his purpose realized and fulfilled. He has a father that will encourage, love, provide for, teach, lead, forgive, gift, restore, admonish, and elevate him.

He has done nothing for me, yet I will do everything and anything for him. I will be tireless. I will be relentless. I will be Superhero Papa. Forever.

I've just realized the gold: If I was made in God's image, and on top of that filled with His Spirit, God and I share desires. We share personality traits. We share emotion. We share the glorious weight of fatherhood.

Tireless. Relentless. Superhero Papa. Forever.

Love you Judah Bear. Can't wait for us to look at this writing in 20 years. Hopefully I'm not crying. I'm reminding myself here to give you a big ole kiss.

-E (Papa)