This Spring has exhaled the difficult navigation that comes along with the death of long time family pets, the passing of my 92 year old navy hero Grandpa, the discovered brain tumor in my other hero Grandpa, and the diagnosis of stage 3 cancer in my step Father-in-law. A season of weight surrounded by the light exterior of blooms and buds. A season of grieving, alongside a season where the church calendar and global community celebrates the victory in Jesus' defeat of death, everlasting life. Internal, intense, heartache alongside the witnessing of life breaking forth in petaled reminders that no season is a forever season.
A season that has opened Evan and I up a bit deeper to one another, exposing more ugly in us both than we knew existed-truly. Yet somehow the light remains, calling us ever closer in the middle of the muck. A season writing itself out in an exposé on how the health of your marriage can directly effect the grieving process, and why the health of your marriage matters in every season.
A few things the Lord is blossoming out of us (both painfully and gently) to us this Spring season on loss and love:
- Pray together, celebrate together, express thankfulness to God together when the seasons are the mountain top kind. It truly teaches your minds and hearts to be one in the it is natural to pray first as a unit. In this way, when the inevitable hard seasons hit, you have already practiced the instinctive one-ness of praying first, seeking God as a unit, and will be synced in the spiritual, a process that can be all the more difficult to do in the middle of grief if out of practice.
- Allow each other room to grieve uniquely in the ways that bring about life to each one. For some that means crying, working out, gardening, journaling, writing letters, etc. Just because one method works for one, doesn't mean it will for another. Give each other breathing room in this way. Regardless, make sure that the grieving process is alive and active in each of you.
- Bring life inside your home every day. From fresh flowers, to spoken scripture, to the company of friends, do something active every single day to remember that death is defeated. Your current season is temporary, and that this is not our home. This might sting at first (wallowing is a go-to for me, I can relate), but the more you practice it, the more you shift your focus day by day, the more healing is allowed to to up post and start the work that the Lord has set it to accomplish.