from a felon
Raising babies is hard. Raising babies who love the Lord, honor their parents, have veins running thick with loyalty, love, patience, self-control, faith, etc. etc. etc., is overwhelming from the bird's eye show. It is one of those things that zooming out to gain perspective towards doesn't aid, but instead gives me all that crazy mom, "I think I'll just keep them inside an 800 square foot radius with constant monitoring, handpicked friends, meal planning, culture controlling atmosphere" type irrationality. [*insert palm to forehead*]
I read a quote on instagram today by Frederick Collins (he is neither here nor there, but was a writer and mail fraud extraordinaire if you care to know) that said:
"There are two types of people. Those who come into the room and say 'well, here I am,' and those who say 'ah, there you are.'"
I don't know which side Frederick Collins' was an advocate for, but there was some kind of immediacy felt when reading it. Immediacy in a liberating, one step at a time, focus on what is in your hands today, and allowance in letting tomorrow breathe when it's existence becomes tangible.
In the motherhood journey, running thoughts of what schools are the best, what dating advice or rules I will place in the lives of my littles, and how to establish normal toddler nap times for my newborn are constant. Constant. They are important in the context of prayer and dialogue with the hubs on how we will raise our kiddos in unity, but joy depleting in the context of the here and now. Hence, the constant waves they flood into my brain are no beuno for a healthy psyche.
Scripture tells us over and over not to stress, not to worry, to focus on today, that there are no guarantees for all our feeble planning, as many are the plans in the mind of man, but it is the Lord's will that prospers and prevails (and let's be real, thank God for THAT, am I right!?).
So today, in the most round-about way, thanks to a little push from the words of a felon, I am sitting present. Present to remember that I want my kids to be the gracious ones, the ones that walk in to a room and highlight the lives of other's as beautiful, and lovely, and purpose ridden. Not from a stance of diminishing their value, or their own sparkle, but one that is indeed hyper-focused on serving, loving, and lifting the heads of others, so much so, that their stream of consciousness flows in this measure. Present to remember that raising them well in this way doesn't have it's winning vantage from a "thousand feet up" perspective, but rather a kisses on the cheek, scripture speaking, couch snuggling, meal nourishing, and character developing lifestyle that comes with ease when I too change my perspective to the "Ah, there you are," stream of consciousness.
Not in my own effort can I shape a human life to be holy or lovely, but in the effort of elevating their lives to direct them to the One who knows every golden and auburn strand on their brilliant heads.
So be kind to yourselves today mommas, stop swallowing in the pressure, let the Holy Spirit work through you, and in your kids in the timeframe and manner He sees fit, and trust that stewarding that relationship as He calls you to is the work your hands and heart are meant for. Day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. Present to the lives in your hands and home in the moment.